moonlight resonance episode 30 & 31

When Raymond was there to look after and comfort Linda, she angrily yells at him, saying that’s she wants to be the third party and told him not to bother her again ..

Linda: Why don’t we settle everything today. Adding last night to the amount I already owe you, I’ll shout you dinner or I’ll buy you a very expensive present. I don’t need you to lend anymore time to me. I’ve already decided that, rather than three people suffering, I’d rather be the bad person for once. I remember when I was young I asked my mum ‘Why do you have to snatch HorMa’s things? Why do you have to hurt HorMa?’ Mum’s right, there’s no wrong in loving someone.

Raymond:You’re not like this. Yo So Chau isn’t like this.

Linda: I am! In a moment later I’m going to call Chi Sun (Bosco) and force him to break up with his girlfriend. If he’s not going to I will. Mum’s right. Fighting for love is like fighting in war. I don’t want to lose! I want to be the one who will win!

Raymond: Don’t say things like that, you’re not like that!

Linda: I am! I’m a selfish person, I’ve never told you that because I was scared that you won’t care about me and keep me company.

Raymond: I know you were unhappy last night, but you don’t have to say that kind of thing about yourself.

Linda: You don’t understand. To you, your world is only as small as the cake shop, you only know how to treat HorMa, Ah Heng and the others well.You don’t know what is love! If not, Teng Teng(Tracy) wouldn’t have broken up with you! Don’t bother me! I don’t want you in my way! I don’t need you to lend anymore time to me. You’ve mistaken! I’m not the victim here, I’m born to like to steal and snatch things. I am willing to be the third party! I don’t want to see you, don’t get in my way! Let go! Don’t make me hate you! I don’t want to see you!

Later, Linda writes an email to GoonGaJai (that she doesn’t send) expressing how she really feels.

Goon Ga Jai,

I’m actually very selfish and self-willed. If from the start after I found out he had a girlfriend, and didn’t again and again go to Nam Wah Island with him, if I can be more rational, and more determined, not answer his calls or see him, eyes don’t see, heart doesn’t think, I might have been able to put him down already. To you I am the same, if every time I was sad I didn’t go find you, you wouldn’t have to be like me now; liking someone so painfully. Last night at the bar, when you kept me company for 8 hours I was determined that I can’t go on being so selfish. I don’t deserve you to treat me so nice. I don’t want you to waste your time anymore. I actually don’t mean that you’re bothering me, I don’t want to keep bothering you. It’s now 2:52am. From this minute on, I’ve decided to separate from the two nicest guys in my life. From then on, Yu So Chau will be alone. I rather I suffer myself.

Raymond was so upset when Grandma found him. He couldn’t help but open up to Grandma and pour his eyes out with tears… He was so hurt!! Grandma got him to tell her who the one he liked was.. He knows that Linda was only saying those things because she didn’t want to bother him; but the fact was he wanted to.

[Email to Raymond]
Goon GaJai, I used to be so silly, asking you ‘if this’, ‘if that’ what would happen. In this world there is no such thing as “what if”. Some things are already predetermined. It’s fate that the big truck came by and that I didn’t run over to see you, and that I met Chi Sun (Bosco), and then becoming the third party. Now fate has arranged JiSun to break up with his girlfriend and now we are officially together. I don’t know what else is predetermined ahead, I only know that whatever sadness lies ahead, I won’t be alone. GoonGaJai, there’s no need to worry about me.
—
[Reply email to Linda (that he ended up deleting and not sending)]
Subject: I will never change
Ah Chau, that night you told me you don’t have those feelings for me anymore, and that there’s no way of finding it anymore. At that time, I really wanted to tell you those feelings have always been with me and will never change. YuSoChau, I really want you to know that no matter you’re a person or who you’re with, my promise to you will never change. As long as you’re unhappy, I really want to lend you all the time I have, until you’re happy again.